Something new under this sun.

I sometimes wonder where inspiration comes from. If you really think about it, is inspiration not just taking someones idea and making it your own? This is something I think about a lot with writing. Often when I read a very good book, I feel inspired to write. But then I think that my writing is going to reflect what I just read, because that is what inspired me to write in the first place, and I don't want to copy anyone.
What if I give it time. I step away from the book for a few days and then come back to writing. The problem is that I am often no longer inspired and when I try to write it is unfocused, dull and uninspired.

What then is the solution? Were I to write when inspiration hit would I merely be copying someone's already completed idea?

It is said that there is nothing new under the sun. I guess I can see that. We can only write about what we have experienced, even if we turn it on it's head and make it into something that is seemingly completely different than anything we could know, our experiences fuel it.
So really, everything is a copy. There is no original work out there, because it has all been inspired by something that had already been done.

So what is the point? You might ask.
The point is to emote. To take the experiences, information and ideas and turn them into something unique by using our unique perspective.

Sure there are a ton of Dystopian fiction novels, with strong female leads where there is a struggle against the powers that be to regain freedom and equality, but if I were to write one it would be different. It would be unique. Because my personal experiences would feed it. My ideas, my beliefs, my opinions and my character would bleed through the pages to create something completely different than what came before.

There is nothing new under the sun...except for us. We are all new; we are all original. We bring this to our work, and this is why the story must continue to be told, the experiences shared and the "inspiration" acted upon.

We all have a story to tell.

(That's from a song...so again not original, but it fit so nicely.)

Twenty Nine seems like a good time to grow up. 

I'm 29. Ok, let's be honest here, I am 29 and 6 months. Which means in just 6 short months I will be 30. It blows my mind to even type that number. I mostly still feel like a 16 year-old girl sitting in my room reading murder mysteries, and trying my hardest to not fail algebra. When did this whole grown up thing happen? Most days I feel like I missed the memo. At any rate, I think it's time I start blogging. I have things to say sometimes. 

It's a funny thing, growing up. I can't speak for anyone but myself, and for all I know I could be completely mental, but for me it has been a two steps forward three steps back type of situation. For example: When I turned 25 I remember thinking, "Right, no more messing about. I'm an adult now and it is time to grow up and act as such!" I think that lasted about a year. Then it was like a digression, and I was once again living with my parents, back in college (for a Master's Degree this time) and looking for a job. That lasted a few years. There was partying like when I was 2, bad choices with men, stupid decisions with money. All of the things I had convinced myself at 25 I was finished with forever. Then I hit 28. I had 2 degrees, a dead end call center job that had me riddled with anxiety daily, and no direction.  

 I was depressed. I felt lost. I have always been a planner. I like to know where my life is going, and I had no clue. All the grand plans I had for my life when I was younger just didn't happen. I thought I would graduate, get a fabulous job, get married and start a family. The only thing on my list that I had accomplished was graduating. Twice. 

So I started over. I quit my job, found a career path that I not only wanted to do, but that was pretty much a guaranteed job, and I followed that. I am currently following, I should say. I applied to a Masters Degree program for Special Needs and Elementary Education, and I am over halfway through. 

Growing up. What's that all about? So yeah, I'm still broke. I'm once again looking for a job and I live with my sister and brother-in-law because I can't get my own place, but I'm finally on a clear path. I finally feel like I might actually be growing up. 

I guess when I think about what it means to be "grown-up" now I think of it more as a state of mind. I am now thinking about what my choices will mean in the long run. I am thinking about how I'm going to build my future, and I have realized the future I used to want, all the things I once thought were so important, are different now. 

Being grown up does not mean I'm boring. It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, or bad choices, or that I have it all figured out. It also doesn't mean that I can't have fun, or be silly. It just means I think more, I care about different things, I plan and plan and plan, and then I realize those plans may never even come to fruition but it's ok as long as I keep trying and planning. 

I don't know what being grown up means to anyone else. I have talked about it with friends, and we never seem to reach a consensus. So, I guess it's different things to different people. But this is it for me, in this moment, this is what being grown up is all about. 

And I guess it's about time.